She romanticized everything out of proportion.

Last weekend I decided I want to live with my boyfriend. We both did. I’m scared, and happy, and scared. Mostly scared, cause even though I’m pretty much in love, I know that if it doesn’t work out, the pain will be even bigger than that last time I got a broken heart. I will probably cry for months. 

I mean, I’ve never lived with a dude before. I’ll be sharing my entire free time with one person. My bed. My kitchen skills. My body soap. My choice of sunday night TV show. I’m becoming entirely monogamous. I’ve always been pretty much monogamous, but not THAT monogamous.

We will have a puppy and we will have to take him outside for a poop, for a walk, I don’t know if together, I don’t know if we’ll take turns. Is the pup going to like me more than him? Will we fall deeply in love forever? Will we grow tired of each other? Will he be ok when I decide to go out with my friends, alone? Will I be ok when he decides to go with his friends to watch soccer games and drink beer? What if I ever fancy pizza and he decides that he wants to eat lobster? 

Will he be able to sleep while I read a book on the bed with a lamp on? Will we stop having sex in the middle of the night because we’re so used to it? Will we have more sex? Will we get fatter? Will we go to the gym together? Who is going to stay with our dog if we ever decide to call it off? What if his parents hate me? My mom is going to kill me. She will kill me for not having a married daughter and a lovely wedding. She will sue me and I’ll have to change my last name to something else. She will sue me, then kill me. 

I’m scared. But chances are that this will be the biggest thing that has happened to us so far. Because I feel like we are meant to be. Not as in meant to be forever, just meant to be. It feels right. It has to happen. 

Whatever the end of the story is, I’m also happy with the decision I’ve made. I’m pretty sure we will have plenty of happy moments and learn, and fall down, and probably lift each other up when it happens. Until we decide that we don’t want to anymore. It’s the reason why I’ve chosen him, because I know I’ll be able to count on him, and I know I want to be exactly the same for him. 

I will probably take this down after I read this.